(Rated not suitable for people who are trying to commit suicide)
(Sarcastic sadistic and straightforward text)

Dear Squall,
You son of the Goddess. Why in the heavens do you want to end your life? Do not even try to do it, it will make you more pathetic. Do not waste other people's precious time trying to clear your wretched corpse. However, as my profession as a sadistic, psychotic madman, I will teach you some techinques of ending your meagre life that should not even exist in the first place. Do you think I am trying to help you? NO WAY. I am only trying to make you more pitiful than what you already is. (But then again, is that really possible?)

Sometimes, you could kill yourself by eating alot. Not poison or anything like that, as the agony and pain by poison is just not enough for a rat like you. You deserve something far more humilative before you die. How about killing youself by obesity? Eats lots of food (preferbly canteen food. In that case you get to taste the worst of the worst before you die.), be fat, and witness first-hand as you grow into a fat infested monstosity. As tour confidence level get's lower and lower (If you don't, I'll send a bunch of irritating bimbo girls to pester and irritate you twenty four seven. They have caused 10 suicide cases so far, so they are guaranteed 100% effective.) , your urge to kill yourself will rise. Don't die just yet! The fun part has not even started yet!

One of the most disgusting way of killing yourself (which you deserved. You are, after all, very disgusting) is to jump from a very high building. Pick a high building (like swissotel, or, your pea sized brain might remember, the Westin hotel) , go up there, make a din, and then jump, smashing the window into pieces. If you are at the 72nd floor of the Westin, you would have to run through the window (don't worry, your fat will do the work to break it, but come to think of it, your looks is enough to break glass). You would then have the pleasure (drats!) of about 5 seconds to ponder about your wretched life before making an impact on soild concrete. Just imagine all the fat splattering over the pavement, some on other people, and if you are lucky, you might even crush a car or even people! The best part is that you will be condemned to hell for eternity.

So, have a good time committing suicide! Call for assistance!